Hello uncultured swine,
The temperate weather and spring blossoms are making me uncharacteristically optimistic and it’s become a problem. Without fail, depression makes me more funny and in its absence I’m finding myself being earnest? Fucking dreadful. To bring my spirits down a pinch I’ve decided to put together a seasonal list of what to do, wear, read and listen to for your resident soft-boi or intimidating blunt-bobbed bi-sexual female. Let’s get to work:
Get traumatised at Lee (2023)
I’m a simple woman, all I want is three different beverages near me at all times and a dramatic WWII movie starring Kate Winslet as photographer and war correspondent, Lee Miller. Mercifully, the latter has come to fruition and will be in Australian cinema’s in October. Early critical reviews indicate that the film isn’t a steaming pile of shite, and frankly any exposure to this fascinating woman’s life is net positive imo. Grab your girls! Put on your army issued body armour! And get a bit of trauma at Lee.
Be ghosted
Kaliane Bradley fell in love with a man who was long dead and her debut novel, The Ministry of Time, is a result. This book is ostensibly a time-travel romance but Bradley writing is humorous and handles difficult political subject matter with as much plainness as a coffee order. I came for the high-concept and stayed for the nineteenth century horniness. (Who’s your long dead hall pass? Mine’s Edouard Manet (always been you baby <3)).
Soil yourself
A connection not often made culturally is that between gardening and art. Plenty canonical artists enjoyed gardening: Georgia O’Keeffe, Hermes designer Nicole de Vésian, Claude Monet, Frida Kahlo, Edvard Munch, the list could go on, should I go on? I won’t. The two disciplines are simpatico; the wont for beauty encourages you to garden, and the beauty of the garden encourages you to paint. And as gauche as it sounds, the garden is an evolving canvas. That said, I’ve never killed $1,000 worth of canvases.
Put ‘Favourite’ by D.C. Fontaine’s on quite loud
Premonition: surf/sk8 culture will come back in a big way soon and ‘Favourite’ will have you fashioning a bong out of a Mount Franklin bottle and eschewing hair hygiene ahead of the curve. The song sits somewhere between 80s pop-punk and grunge, but simply put it’s a good toe-tapper. A critic of my word, I gave the entire Romance album a listen but nothing had me reaching for the stick and poke kit quite like this did.
Contemplate Florine Stettheimer’s La Fete a Duchamp (above)
Done. (Is an Easter egg still an Easter egg if you point it out? This is an Easter egg).
Quit your job and don’t do anything useful
I’ve felt the need to justify why I’m not pursuing a conventional career path lately, so here’s my justification: to spend a creative skillset on a 40hr work week is just bad business. I’d crunched the numbers as a single earner on an ok wage, and even if my previous income had doubled, it still wasn’t enough to grant me stable living conditions. So, I’m doing what I want and what I suspect I’m good at instead. I’ll try earn enough to not die, abuse my privilege and lean on my support systems, and it’ll either pay off or become the best few years of my life.
To the somebody who had me questioning my worth, know that as a loosey goosey creative I do this constantly, and I’m not sure of myself – though I suspect you know this. The only thing that keeps me quietly confident is my painting hanging on your wall right f*king now.
(if you want to be a person I resent with one of my paintings (for free!) see below for giveaway)
Wear literally nothing
And by literally I mean figuratively. I don’t like much about Pablo Picasso but I can get behind two things: his work and his apparel (above). His quintessential warm weather look was simple – chino shorts with a hairy chest, tits out (above) – yet there’s something so chic about dressing scantily in a deeply unsexy way. How liberating. Almost as liberating as escaping Picasso himself. I will be wearing this lewk in my studio don’t say I didn’t warn you.
Have an indefinite holiday
I’m talking minimum six months. Don’t have enough cash? No problemo! Simply find someone to house swap with ala The Holiday or find your twin and pretend to be them so you can catfish the parent you never knew and make a transcontinental move ala The Parent Trap. It doesn’t have to be far to break the circuit, many artists moved about within their own country for inspiration, enjoying long stays in regional areas or beachside towns. With my budget I could have a very moderate time in Caboolture.
Thank you, thank you! And to those who already entered into the giveaway last week thank you again! It will run this week and next, all you have to do is like the newsy and live in Australia (it’s a shipping thing) and the following could be yours:
Love you all, I really do. I appreciate this space (I appreciate editor Grace).
C U Next Tuesday xoxoxoxoxoxox
Maggie Jean