Sorry can't come, busy with my poetry
Your art and cultural to-dos for autumn '25
Uncultured swine,
Something strange happened.
Almost overnight, our inner sanctum of turtle-necked, high-artistic-sensibility individuals has grown and I’m about 80% sure my mum had nothing to do with it. I’ve also consulted the stars – no warning. My only guess is you’ve subscribed for my of-the-moment, sharp cultural commentary. And if that’s the case, I apologise, because the quality has gone sshwooopp downhill this week.
As is customary for Dis Content, the change of season brings a fresh list of cultural to-dos to get the creative juices flowing. So open your mind, your moleskins and take note of what we’re doing in autumn:
Quitting reality television to pursue a lucrative career in the arts
If you, like me, enjoy watching attractive women stand in housing monstrosities until you feel a little queasy, you’ll have watched Netflix’s Selling Sunset. In the latest season, series regular, Amanza (seriously considered calling my Chiweenie this) put her career in real estate aside to become a visual artist. A perfect blend! She already did dribbly wibbly paintings, and now she has the right clientele to sell them to. It’s abstract expressionism meets Blue Rider colours but with a personal style of Cher from Clueless – what’s not to like here?!
Grab your friends, wear your florals and go to Frida Kahlo: In her own image
F*ck the paintings! Gaze upon the personal effects of great artist, Frida Kahlo, instead. Shown at Bendigo Art Gallery (BAG to those in the know) until July, the collection of Kahlo’s belongings are on loan in Australia for the first time, and in Bendigo no less! Happy for them. Though I, a discerning patron of the arts, should scoff at any tasteless subjectification of the painter, I’d properly faint if I saw her actual hair sticking out of her actual brush etc etc. Not weird!
Waking up at 2pm in a thunderous mood every day
Worked inspirational wonders for lesser known artist, Pablo Picasso.
Watching Australia’s sweetheart look quietly concerned
I should write about artist Vincent Fantauzzo, who’s recent feature in Australian Story I’m recommending you watch. I should tell you about his Archibald people’s choice awards (above) and admission into fine arts college despite not being able to read or write. But all I can think is omg he’s married to Australia’s sweetheart, Asher Keddie. The man also painted Heath Ledger and wants to make creative careers less financially prohibitive. But Asher Keddie.
Drinking an entire bottle of Merlot and writing your seminal poem
Here’s one I wrote at university and, don’t be too intimidated, I was once called a poetry prodigy:
Scratch my ear,
Bite my arse,
Bark at nothing,
Roll in the grass.
Eat my food,
Let it pass,
On the rug,
Then run real fast.
Lie on floor,
Sleep like log,
The daily grind,
Of being dog.
Contemplating Nude in The Bath and Small Dog by Pierre Bonnard (Above)
Wow. Done.
Forming an impromptu flash mob to ‘Sally, When the wine runs out’ by ROLE MODEL
I have a soft spot for this song because Role Model launched a full campaign to be voted worlds sexiest man in 2024: bought billboards, got other artists to endorse him, wore an ‘I heart Lana Del Rey’ singlet which is practically catnip to the bitties. And he lost. Somehow this awards snub made him much sexier to me? Like, is he a project? Am I more attracted to beta men? Don’t answer that.
Making me filthy rich at the Affordable Art Fair in Brisbane
The penny hasn’t dropped that some of my paintings will be for sale with the delicious folk at Stevens Street Gallery. Here are the key details and here are my key fears around the event:
a) That my work will end up on a critic newsletter such as this and I’ll get a taste of my own bitter medicine
b) That my work will lead people to this newsletter and the new owners will see how crass I am then burn my pieces in disgust
c) That people compliment me
d) That people don’t compliment me
There’s also a horrible chance nothing bad will happen and it’ll be fun and support local artists so, go?
Only having coffee and ciggies for breakfast before consecutive mental breakdowns
Worked inspirational wonders for lesser known artist, Vincent Van Gogh.
Swine I almost missed today because of a flirty cyclone called Alfred.
We were spared most of the carnage but my friends to the south weren’t as lucky. Thankfully through the damage, wind and flooding they can still read the crucial recommendations offered in this newsletter - you’re welcome.
Lots of love to you all, thanks for reading, thanks Grace for editing and um
C U Next Tuesday xxooxoxoxo Maggie Jean