Too hot to function
Your Official Artist 'To Do' List for Summer
It’s just clicked into “what will it be this year?” season in the southern hemisphere and we’re enjoying these first signs of summer! Supercell storms, torrential downpours and flash flooding, heat waves, bushfires and - of course – mangoes. Where the bloody hell are ya?! But don’t despair the climate collapse too much uncultured swine, because a new season also means a new list of cultural to dos (besides cower next to an air-conditioning unit and pray). Wipe the steam off your spectacles, we’re going to engage in the arts:
Light a cig in Art Gallery of New South Wales, tell the seccy ‘this is not a pipe’ and see if they get the joke or if you get arrested
Actually this is a pretty big get. Rene Magritte’s greatest hits are currently showing in Sydney’s premier gallery and apparently it’s quite something to behold in the flesh. “There is something profoundly recognisable about every Magritte image — so ordinary — and yet the effect is quite otherworldly,” wrote Dis Content fav, Rick Morton in his
. He goes on to say he’s not an art historian before writing something more profound than anything I’ve ever published in this steaming pile of newsletter so yep.Don’t owe anyone shit
The planet is burning! Last thing we need is more junk crammed into the earth’s crust! So buy no one but yourself a gift. Be a c*nt – save a turtle.
Let Didion and Babitz decompose on your bedside table
Don’t get me wrong, I’ve heard good things. Lili Anolik writes a fascinating dissection of the relationship, or lack thereof, between a pious Joan Didion and the rebellious Eve Babitz; two Los Angeles icons in the white, essayist, lit-woman community. It’s exactly the type of book I’m dying to read and am dying to be seen reading before Kaia Gerber gets her slender digits on it for the paparazzi. But I know deep down I’d buy it, feel really into myself about that, and never actually read it.
Stream Christmas in the Spotlight with a crisp Rosé
Watching this tragic Taylor Swift and Travis Kelce fanfic film is exactly what I do instead of reading Didion and Babitz.
Be a sour little c*nt
It’s finally the year of the Limoncello spritz. This pick comes to you courtesy of a friend (bet you didn’t think I had those) whose apt description started with, “I’m trying this lemony drink...”. It’s sour enough to not be Hard Solo but not so sour that your face eats itself. You can buy a delish premix from Zoncello (above), or make it yourself with:
50ml Limoncello
60ml Prosecco
30ml Soda
Thyme sprig if you want to be a c*nt about it
Serve over ice, enjoyed best with company.
Try not to die inside when your loved ones ask what you do for money
NOTHING JUDY, OK? I’M IN THE RED BECAUSE PEOPLE CAN BUY WALL ART FOR LIKE 2 BUCKS AT IKEA AND IM OUT HERE ASKING FOR FIVE HUNDRED MINIMUM BECAUSE IM LESS EFFICIENT BUT HAVE A REALLY GOOD PERSONALITY AND NEED TO GO THE DENTIST.
Say ‘content creator’ and bewilder them momentarily so you can collect yourself.
Actually learn what your job is
Joining the ranks of Elizabeth Gilbert’s Big Magic and Rick Ruben’s The Creative Act, musician Brian Eno and artist Bette Adriaanse have released What Art Does and thank god because I still have no idea. It’s an illuminating read, providing theories and research on the purpose of art and its importance – stressing that it’s needed now more than ever. Take that Judy. In true artsy help-I’m-stuck-in-my-own-arse fashion it’s quite difficult to get your hands on; the fancy wancy hardback was available for a whopping $225, the digital for a meagre $1 and the paperback will be available on the 16th of Jan for, I expect, a just-right price. Its most redeeming quality? The marketing for What Art Does has been pretty underground meaning there’s a chance even Kaia fucking Gerber doesn’t know about it.
Contemplate Helen Frankenthaler’s Western Dream (above)
Done.
Have ‘Live like the proles Lent’ darling!!!
Hang on, I’m just going to write the most out of touch paragraph in a cost of living crisis: I treat myself too often for Christmas treats to be a treat. I’m a goodish cook, me mams a fantastic cook, we occasionally enjoy a crisp white and as it turns out, every day is that occasion. Oh! I’m an economic sink-hole: no assets, no meaningful savings, no steady income. It just so happens that my path to financial ruin comes with a queen bed draped in flax linen, a beautiful view and meals when I desire them – what a strange way to say I’m privileged! So I’m eschewing delicious foods and booze until Christmas to appreciate my privilege anew! Now excuse me while I shoot off in my Benz with a caviar filled Birkin!! Ra ra ra!!!
Thumb a bowl of cherries wistfully
The cicadas this season are particularly throaty, and I’m listening to them from a shady seat that faces the western mountain range (above). I’m wearing linen, I smell like sunscreen and gewurztraminer, and in front of me is a bowl of plump, red cherries. The summer Francoise Gilot met Picasso, he bought a bowl of cherries to the table where she was sat with friends, Genevieve and Alain. If I try really hard I can pretend I’m in Paris with them and not in my parents backyard, sweating so much in this fucking linen that my breasts are now sad mounds of sludge, slowly pooling in my lap.
I think that’s as good a place to wrap up as any? Thank you so f*cking much for reading it actually warms my heart. The artist write-ups require a bit more research and brain space so it makes me happy that you’re even remotely interested in the shit I’m very interested in.
Lets talk again soon, ok? C U Next Tuesday xxxxxxxx
Maggie Jean xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo